honesty in advertising



I am a believer in online dating so obviously i am a loser but, at the moment, faced with potential success i’ve had to try to discourage the hordes. I’ve changed my profile somewhat

Tell us about yourself:

So this is the bit where wishful thinking teeters on the brink of outright falsehood, where i neglect to mention my alcoholism, my boyfriend or my wife? Instead, you can take it from me that i am simply wonderful and want nothing more than to devote myself to you heart and soul, (like i’d know what either of those was.) Here’s where i tell you what i think you want to hear and being an utter chauvinist, I will grossly exaggerate my wealth, dynamism and probably even my height.
In the unlikely event that you do respond to my lazy and unimaginative pick up lines (which, of course, i have sent to every other woman here) then you can expect some more lies and empty flattery in my replies (Did I tell you how much I like your eyes?)
Why do I pursue such an obviously doomed strategy? Because, as you persistently fail to notice, all men are bastards!


2 responses to “honesty in advertising”

  1. I enjoyed the post, although I think you may be opening yourself up to yet more botherers by using humour.
    I went on a dating site at a friend’s request, to check out some people she wanted opinions on (I’m not going to apologise, although I sense I should – it’s merely how women work); to deflect attention, I changed my profile to make myself a seven foot 25 stone she-male with a beard and bipolar disorder. You just get more and more messages from people. Although this time you do know for sure that they’re weird.

  2. From one loser to another:
    You sound delightful! Fancy a date?

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