I am a believer in online dating so obviously i am a loser but, at the moment, faced with potential success i’ve had to try to discourage the hordes. I’ve changed my profile somewhat
Tell us about yourself:
So this is the bit where wishful thinking teeters on the brink of outright falsehood, where i neglect to mention my alcoholism, my boyfriend or my wife? Instead, you can take it from me that i am simply wonderful and want nothing more than to devote myself to you heart and soul, (like i’d know what either of those was.) Here’s where i tell you what i think you want to hear and being an utter chauvinist, I will grossly exaggerate my wealth, dynamism and probably even my height.
In the unlikely event that you do respond to my lazy and unimaginative pick up lines (which, of course, i have sent to every other woman here) then you can expect some more lies and empty flattery in my replies (Did I tell you how much I like your eyes?)
Why do I pursue such an obviously doomed strategy? Because, as you persistently fail to notice, all men are bastards!