no prayer for the dying

 it's not working, pray harder!

At the risk of seeming tasteless (or do I mean in the sure and certain hope) I can’t see why all the worlds Catholics are praying for the Pope.. As we know, all good Catholics go to heaven and if there is anyone on earth who has been a good Catholic, surely it’s the Bishop of Rome? That’s how he got the job in the first place and once you’re Pope, you are Pope for life and on your death, surely the only way is up?

give the pope a gun

At least, that’s how I understand it, I am not too hot on Catholic dogma but I think he would have had to have done something very, very bad in the past for his sixty years serving the church not to count very heavily in his favour. So what with all the prayers? Why are they all putting a good word in for him with God. Maybe they are afraid that in his youth, he had sex protected with a married woman, the condom broke, they aborted the baby and he and his gay lover ate the fetus? Maybe he did, maybe it was repugnance for his debased sin that started him on his spiritual journey? I am no Catholic (no shit!) but I would say he’s made amends. And anyhow, if he went to confession, he have been forgiven that by now. So I think they can’t be praying for him to be forgiven any ancient and egregious sin.

pope does his famous marlon brando impersonation

And how likely that he has sinned recently? I know there have been some evil popes in the past but this one seems sincere. His only over-indulgences seems to have been racking up the air-miles and compulsive beatification. He is practically a saint. If anyone has the God of the Catholics on their side it is Karol.

They can’t be praying for a swift death as Catholics don’t like that sort of thing. They might be praying he is not suffering but as God’s golden boy and with all the best doctors on hand, I can think of several hundred million people in the world who are suffering more right now.

Update:
You can stop praying now.

About caspar

Caspar is just one monkey among billions. Battering his keyboard without expectations even of peanuts, let alone of aping the Immortal Bard. By day he is an infantologist at Birkbeck Babylab, by night he runs BabyLaughter.net
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