Democracy (n.), when a whole nation suffers from the same delusion

The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to
its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3 . Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Which reminded me that i have heard I am sorry I haven’t a clue for a long time..

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/comedy/clue.shtml

As Humph says..
Many of the words we use today have a meaning which is quite different from the original. For example the term terrific as in the sentence “This game is a terrific one.” clearly means really good. But it used to mean instilling terror and it still can given a subtle change of context. For example if I say “This game is a terrific waste of my and everybody else’s bloody time, and always will be.” the original meaning becomes all too apparent.

http://www.isihac.co.uk/

(The democracy one is my own. Hahhaha I am soooo clever!!)

About caspar

Caspar is just one monkey among billions. Battering his keyboard without expectations even of peanuts, let alone of aping the Immortal Bard. By day he is an infantologist at Birkbeck Babylab, by night he runs BabyLaughter.net
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