Caspar

One monkey with a keyboard doing his bit.

Proud to be part of the uncoordinated Web Project aiming to prove that, contrary to popular belief:


Eschewing fancy style, pictures or sounds this site relies on words and taste to convey its message. Lick your screen for the full flavour.


Awake! The Insider Dealing Corner
The Caspar Telegraph and Argus Gross Facts
The Plagiarism Page The Fatwa Page
The Libel Page Biographical disinformation
My nihilism page Link to someone-else's nilhilism page
My solipsism page A Tall Tale. - A ten minute film.
Hollywood or bust Alien conspiracy theorizing
Lord Lucan More paranoia
My sister went to Oxford University, and all I got was this lousy inferiority complex. At last! Cocaine over the Net. Convenient credit card order system.
Education, Education, Education. The three R's reassessed. And finally... Some beginings and endings.

Coca - Cola - the original Mrs Beaton recipe. Feedback Loops - How to search for this site.
Haiku  
Other cases of missing the point. Charge of the Light Brigade
Ignorant Fools Who am I?
The Art of Not Knowing. You and I.
Moon Under Water Can you spot the difference?
M.A.X. Odd-bods.
Post Mortem
   
   

Whither Hence?

You have only just arrived and now I am sending you elsewhere; what sort of host could be so rude?

The Youth of Today: with their baggy clothes and tuneless music..blah, blah. My younger brothers homepage. It is funny and (to me at least) slightly disturbing. Did I mention that he is also an ancronym? (This is him.)
Want to Dig for fire? do you like Rock Music? Have you travelled All over the World looking for Cecilia Ann, Velouria and Allison? Look no further, The Happening is at the Palace of Brine When you get there find out if Danny Elfman was ever one of the Pixies. If not, it was an opportunity missed.

- By way of an explanation, I offer none.

I have finally succumbed to the lure an easy, if pointless, addition to my webdom. Yes, now there are links. I offer several flavours,

Vintage (May '96)  
Netscape '98  
IE '98  

Coming soon!

Biographical details, My True Story. - The bulimia, the loneliness, the fabulous dresses.

The Campaign for Unclear Disarmament - We should, like, er..., get rid of guns, right? Cos they're baad. Yeah, and we should disband the army, because fighting is wrong. Except against someone like Hilter, yeah? what he did, that was, er.., wrong. Right? So, what I'm saying is basically, we should just keep some in case, you know, there's ever another war or something. You know what I mean?

"Eat me! Drink me!" - A meta-literal analysis of the drugs references in Lewis Carroll's Alice stories, and his influence on the Victorian culture of subversion. A paper submitted at the Cornell University 1995 symposia ' "Say what you mean, Mean what you say." - A fresh look at Lewis Carroll.'

The web campaign against "Evil" John Wilson, presenter of BBC TV's "Go Fishing" fishing programme and Channel Fours "Hooked!" programme about narcotics addiction. Merely to listen to this man's laughter as he reels in a helpless and bewildered fish is proof enough of his hatred for life in all its forms. He must be stopped.

The cravings of a lunatic: The story behind "Something about Trees." A screenplay I wrote, that will never see the light of day. Meanwhile here are some 10 second "pitches" for films that will never get made.

Recipes for Disaster - Following the success of Titanic cocktail (Anything you like, but with plenty of ice - goes down a treat), comes a range of food products cashing in on human suffering, natural disasters and other Hollywood friendly tragedies, including the Ethiopian Famine Platter (Not as much as you eat), David Koresh's original recipe BBQ sauce, and the Socratic party pack - a hemlock carryout and a free cock for Aeysculus.

After The Tao of Pooh and The Te of Piglet, (AA Milne's characters explain Buddhism to the Toy Story generation.) come Fear and Loathing in Toytown and Noddy Makes Everyone Cross, Noddy and Big Ears' guide to politics for the generation that fell for Blair. So long victims of political correctness themselves, Enid Blyton's immortal Noddy and Big Ears (or "Kindly Old Paedophile" as the new PC editions refer to him) fight back with their satirical take on 90's soundbite politics.

Visit the Salman Rushdie chat room. - It is great but, unfortunately for security reasons, I cannot tell where to find it.


Already gone!

The history of my frontispiece.


I live here.

How about you?


1998 caspar@onemonkey.org

During the construction of this site: 17 chipmunks, 2 squirrels and a gnu were needlessly killed. Two dozen beagles were forced to spend six weeks chainsmoking. Seven thoroughbred horses sprained their ankles and were shot. Three whales were harpooned for scientific research. Oh yeah, and I shaved a wombat. On the positive side, I have kicked my herion addiction.