Hollywood's favourite movie:-
With unlimited funds,
In a dangerous city,
The men will have guns,
The girls will be pretty.
My own Movie:-
The dialogue is witty,
The actors unknown.
The drama is gritty.
It'll never get shown.
It will never work:-
The men are courteous
and the women keep their clothes on.
A True Story
For two long hours nothing interesting happens to several unappealing characters.
Tea minus Ten!
The British Space Race
Some blokes in garden sheds
Blowing themselves up
My God! I can't believe they actually went and did it.
Dumb and Buddha
An amnesiac wanders into a Zen monastery, where his childlike innocence and wonderment are mistaken for enlightenment.Imagine the hilarious consequences! A madcap comedy with a spiritual message. Jim Carey stars.
A romantic comedy about love and misunderstanding amongst affluent thirty-somethings living in swinging London, featuring fashionable drugs, a poignant death, at least one nude man, and the obligatory upbeat ending (for the American market.) It will probably have Rowan Atkinson as well.
Now and Then.
The film adapation of Stephen Hawking's bestseller A Brief History of Time.
Home for the Holidays
A festive movie, but the festival is Easter is depressing, morbid and NOW with Chocolate Eggs!
Caspar Addyman's Edward Fitzgerald's Omar Khayaam's
A film by Caspar Addyman, based on Edward Fitzgerald's Rubiayat of Omar Khayaam, with a stupidly long and unwieldly name for legal reasons.
TellyTubbies - the Movie
Pathological dissonance contravining assinine certification directives alternate with irresponsible blasphemy, iridescent versimilitude and precipitous soundscapes. Ken Russell directs.
It lacks character and plot,
and will cost quite a lot.
But it feature big stars,
Explosions and chases in cars.
Princess Dianne - Queen of Hearts
Our lawyers assure us that any resemblance of character to persons living or dead would be very hard to prove in a court of law, which is good enough for us. Featuring graphic nudity and a realistic crash sequence.
Copyright ©1998 Caspar Addyman
If you notice any of these films in production let me know, I shall sue and we can split the damages. firstname.lastname@example.org