honesty in advertising

I am a believer in online dating so obviously i am a loser but, at the moment, faced with potential success i’ve had to try to discourage the hordes. I’ve changed my profile somewhat

Tell us about yourself:

So this is the bit where wishful thinking teeters on the brink of outright falsehood, where i neglect to mention my alcoholism, my boyfriend or my wife? Instead, you can take it from me that i am simply wonderful and want nothing more than to devote myself to you heart and soul, (like i’d know what either of those was.) Here’s where i tell you what i think you want to hear and being an utter chauvinist, I will grossly exaggerate my wealth, dynamism and probably even my height.
In the unlikely event that you do respond to my lazy and unimaginative pick up lines (which, of course, i have sent to every other woman here) then you can expect some more lies and empty flattery in my replies (Did I tell you how much I like your eyes?)
Why do I pursue such an obviously doomed strategy? Because, as you persistently fail to notice, all men are bastards!

About caspar

Caspar is just one monkey among billions. Battering his keyboard without expectations even of peanuts, let alone of aping the Immortal Bard. By day he is an infantologist at Birkbeck Babylab, by night he runs BabyLaughter.net
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2 Responses to honesty in advertising

  1. I enjoyed the post, although I think you may be opening yourself up to yet more botherers by using humour.
    I went on a dating site at a friend’s request, to check out some people she wanted opinions on (I’m not going to apologise, although I sense I should – it’s merely how women work); to deflect attention, I changed my profile to make myself a seven foot 25 stone she-male with a beard and bipolar disorder. You just get more and more messages from people. Although this time you do know for sure that they’re weird.

  2. Ade says:

    From one loser to another:
    You sound delightful! Fancy a date?

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