Boarding the 08:13 into town this morning I saw a freak!
He had the appearance of an Oofy Prosser or a Gussie Fink-Nottle (I always forget which is which.) One of those frog like faces with protruding eyes, a big flabby neck and no discernible chin, his skin has the unappealling pallor of the undead.
Add to that the fact that he had black brilliantine hair, looking like a nylon wig, it springy volume combed into a left-parted helmet and that his pear-shaped frame was contained in a black three piece chalkstripe suit with a red silk tie. Then the evidence is overwhelming, he was a freak!