Break-up or breakdown? You decide!

Here is the transcript on my text-messages yesterday. These were all from me to Tessa and only one of them got a reply (between 22:11 and 0:38) unfortunately I've lost it. During the day I called and wasn't answered numerous times so I left a few answerphone messages too. They were generally short and courteous. Friday, 10th July 11:04 I miss you. I'm sad, I'm angry. I can't do it like this any more. Cx 1315 I feel terrible. As bad as when you were in spain. Please help me out a little. Thanks, Caspar xx 20:03 Hey baby, I'm kind of low.. Bursting into tears in the street kind of low. And no not just because of us. But current fighting isn't helping! Cx 22:11 But don't let it bother you. ---- Tessa did reply - seems i've deleted it --- 00:38 I was crying in the street in hope you'd be walking past, see me and feel guilty? No, it happened, I wanted to turn to someone. I tried to turn to you and you just abuse me. 00:52 either you so cold that you don't care about me in the least. or you so arrogant that you always know better than anyone else what's going on. 00:59 Buy yes I think you are right. It's over between us. YOu don't enjoy any of this and i can't live with less than commitment. So goodbye, good luck 01:49 Clearly you are glad to hear it. I thought as much. You're relieved clearly. 02:10 I am not alright, I am not happy. I would like a little sympathy and a little indulgence but if that is inconvenient for you well i'm sorry If I flip out in public. 02:17 You don't care about me at all do you? 02:34 So you won't engage with me on any level? A while ago I'd've understood your indifference but now it's just callous. You clearly don't care about me. SO BE IT! 02:43 You have destroyed me 02:43 I am clutching at straws here.. I love you. Or at least I love my idea of you. Please tell me I'm not wrong. At which point i changed my facebook relationship status to 'single' that's how bad it had got! And apart from a booze and drug hazed call at 0330 yesterday that i remember nothing about she is still refusing to speak to me. so the messages have restarted today this is one of them.. Saturday's text messages went like this.. saturday 10t july 2010 09:45 Sober and hungover but otherwise resigned to being single. You must be happy as it's clearly what you've wanted for a while. Don't fret I won't pester you any more after this 18:15 Seems like we're both equally unhappy and angry this time. Much better than the previous 1-sided break-up, I never really got into that. Cx 18:58 what i don't get : we agreed on fri morn was that this wasn't working & you'd get back to me with suggested alternatives. Later i get teary, needy and call out to you. you cut me dead. Where i remain. While you presumably are getting ever more angry. I feel you can't get past that to be nice to me. 19:47 I'm sitting here about to post online a transcript of all my texts to you yesterday. I'm doing it cos 1. I want to get a reaction from you. Nothing else seems to work. 2.hurting you as much as you're currently hurting me makes sense to me in current state of mind. 3.i really want to know why you aren't speaking to me. 20:04 Ironically, about the only reason i'm calling still you is to find out why you won't answer. 20:06 And because i still love you and believe that we could fix this. In an instant if we had the will. 20:08 And I haven't even started drinking yet! 20:10 Luckily, when i do start drinking I'll be with rachel, amy and sarah you will probably take your side and throw my phone in the river. 20:16 Say hello to nicki and jesper for me :-) 20:23 My operation is on friday. I'm nervous about it. I was hoping you'd offer to nurse for me on the saturday. I still am. 20:25 In fact, any sort of peace making gesture from you would work here. But you never compromise, do you? 21:00 I'm assuming you're enjoying this. But of course you may just have blocked me or be deleting everything instantly. Don't worry i'm keeping a log, Cx 21:04 I do admire the symmetry of it. Do you think my words are horrible and mean? I feel that way about your silence. 21:05 As I believe i told you at dinner last friday. I fill your silences with dark imaginings. :-( 21:16 Actually looking back, I haven't been pestering you too much. You could just be operating at normal Tessa pace. My Billets doux have often recieved less acknowledgment 21:37 Off out drinking and dancing. So less texts. But I'll still be upset and insulted by your selfish cruelty. You can just imagine the rest 21:47 One parting thought. At this point i feel you 100% to blame for the failure of this relationship. Yes, I have faults and am at fault but i can and will change. You 100% would not. So you get 100% of blame. 21:50 Ok two. I have absolutely no idea what you mean when you say you love me. This was a time I needed love. When i asked for it. I begged. I pleaded. So far I've got silence. If you can show me that you do love me then all will be well. I will be there for you forever. i catch your every fall. if and because you caught this one. 22:06 Oh well, I guess that was never going to work. You're about as romantic as the east india company. In fact i'd go further and say you seem to share your father's approach. Whatever's right for you! 22:10 It hurts me to say something like that to you but if you could look beyond you own nose you'd see what drove me to it and sympathize and forgive my pain 22:25 Why are you doing this to me? What are you doing? Or are you even aware? Maybe you're having too much fun? Getting too drunk? For somone who needs 'space and time' you certainly don't appear to waste any in existential angst. 22:27 That's good i suppose. You do sometimes call me when you're drunk. Cx 22:27 If you hurry i might still be sober. 22:36 You can't avoid me forever. Or will it just be until it's more convenient for you? I'll still be here. I'm too paralysed to go anywhere else. 22:40 http://onemonkey.org 22:41 Will add tonight's monologue if silence continues. 22:42 It's horrible when these things turn ugly. No-one benefits. 22:44 Though our children might thank us for not bringing them into our bitter world.