Resolution not revolution

I love new years resolutions.. and find that the secret is to make resolutions that you can actually keep rather than choosing things that rely on stupidly optimistic wishful thinking or radical changes to your lifestyle. This year, in the horribly misguided belief that it will make me look cool, I intend to: 1. Learn to smoke 2. Learn to walk on my hands Note 1. I won't be taking up smoking, i will just be learning how to do it, in case I need to do it on stage, on film or elsewhere. Note 2. Likewise, I won't be giving up walking on my feet. Note 3. I don't intend to do both at the same time.